Posted by Moose

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Let’s Throw A Bunch of Headlines Up Here, June 17, 2014 Edition

So because I suck and am genuinely busy with my real job (housewife toenails aint gonna paint themselves!) I’ve done nothing with this site in a while.

Therefore, I’m gonna dump some stuff I marked for posting in this one post for a ‘Let’s Throw a Bunch of Headlines Up Here’ or ‘NAMBLA’ for short and do a quick barb on them.

Here goes…LTABOHUH

Eric Cantor Loses Primary Race to College Professor

The presumed next Speaker of the House is gonna be speaking to his staff about resume references as Eric Cantor lost in his Virginia primary Republican race to college professor David Brat.  Brat, an Ayn Rand loving jeebus-loving, white-dude with sharp nose and wire-frame glasses replaces Cantor, a mazel-loving, white-dude with sharp nose and wire-framed glasses. It’s like Night and Goyum how different they are.

He’s looking to get Tesla to manufacture it’s electric cars in Texas, the state that made abortions even harder which means Texas is in the long-game for global manufacturing dominance! More kids, means more factory workers which means more factories and more hand jobs from women outside the break rooms from women named Charlene. CAPITALISM!

Vermont’s Bernie Sanders Exposes Koch Brothers 1980 Platform

Now maybe the Koch Brothers have since eased up on some of these but Vermont’s notoriously boisterous Senator Bernie Sanders revealed an old campaign platform from David Koch’s failed VP run for the Libertarian Party in 1980.  In it, the say they wanna get rid of just about anything the government does including Social Security, the FDA, EPA, Minimum Wage and more. So basically, in 1980, the Koch brothers wanted the government to be stripped down to just Ronald Reagan sitting in the oval office playing paddle ball. Kind of like he was at the END of his Presidency.

Free pussy for all! YAAAY!

‘Duck Dynasty’ Congressman Caught Kissing Other Woman On Camera

The Republican Representative from the district where ‘Duck Dynasty’ is from was caught smooching a female staffer of his that wasn’t his wife. Representative Vance McAllister said “I’m asking for forgiveness from God, my wife, my kids, my staff, and my constituents who elected me to serve.” McAllister has made money off of oil and other business interests like Subway shops where he like to slap his meat between 2 buns.

Boom. Done

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