Posted by Moose

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Nevada Lawmaker Says Cancer is a Fungus

If you have Cancer, which I believe is a fungus…

And that’s all you need to hear from Michelle Fiore, a woman who was elected by Nevada voters and serves as A LAWMAKER for them. But there’s definitely more from her on fighting cancer and she’s definitely gonna try and get it out of your body if it takes a bunch of salt water flushing through your veins.

No, really!

Michelle Fiore, who when she’s not impersonating Ariana Huffington, is trying to get a law passed in Nevada which would open the door for, shall we say, ‘out there’ ways of treating cancer. Those damn medical experts and FDA people with their…standards and….controlled testing of practices.

And, oh by the way, she has a home healthcare business that’s fond of passing on payroll taxes to the IRS.

Why do I picture her employees just stealing gramma’s heart pill meds when she’s napping?

She goes on to say that the cancer (which, according to her is just like a bad mushroom or something) can be washed out of your blood with the salty fluid. There’s probably a couple cancer researchers slapping their foreheads now…

Researcher 1: OHHH, THAT’S what we were doing wrong! 

Researcher 2: YEAH, all that money and monkeys we poisoned and hours of lab time were all for not.

Researcher 1: Turns out we can kill cancer the same way we clean our sinuses out with a tippy pot!

Resarchers together: THANKS MICHELE FIORE! YOU’RE HEAD’S FILLED WITH GUMBALLS AND HAIR DYE RESIDUE BUT YOU’VE MADE OUR JOBS IRRELEVANT.

Researcher: Great. Let’s go cook some meth now.

 

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